Healing Intimacy with Astrology and Psychosexual Therapy

Sex and intimacy are deeply personal and often deeply complicated. For many people, these parts of life can bring up more questions than answers. Why do we keep ending up in the same kind of relationship? Why do we struggle with desire, or feel disconnected in moments that are supposed to feel close? What does it really mean to have a healthy, soulful sex life?

As a psychologist who works at the intersection of emotional healing, spiritual growth, and embodied connection, I believe these questions deserve more than surface-level answers. They deserve a deeper look into your personal story, your emotional patterns, and even your birth chart.

In this blog post, we’ll explore that space where soul and sexuality meet, where ancient wisdom supports modern healing, and where your birth chart becomes a kind of mirror for your intimate life. 

The Many Lenses of Astrology in Therapy

One of the things I love most about astrology is that there’s no one “right” way to read a chart. Every astrologer brings their own background, intuition, training, and life experience to the table, which means there are many ways to interpret the same symbols. And honestly, I think that’s a good thing.

Astrology is a deeply personal and intuitive language. Yes, there are techniques and systems to learn, but much of the magic happens in the space between the symbols—when something just clicks. That’s the moment when a client sees their chart and says, “Oh… that’s me.” Not in a vague or generalized way, but in a soul-deep, felt way. That kind of resonance can be incredibly healing.

In therapy, I don’t view astrology as a rigid formula. It’s not merely about the position of Mars or the house in which Venus resides. Instead, I see the birth chart as a storybook—a map that reveals your identity, your experiences, and the lessons you are meant to learn. Sometimes, I use technical tools, like synastry charts or progressions, but just as often, I’m listening for something deeper. I’m tuning in to the energy of the chart, letting it speak, and trusting my intuitive read.

Some might call that “channeling,” and I think that’s fair. When I work with a chart, it often feels like the veil gets thinner, and I’m simply translating something larger than myself. When that happens in a therapy session, it can feel like a light has been turned on inside someone. They see themselves differently. They understand their struggles with more compassion. They feel less broken and more human.

Psychosexual Therapy: Healing Intimacy Wounds

Many people carry silent wounds around intimacy. These wounds often show up in the most tender places—sexuality, connection, emotional closeness. As a trauma-informed psychosexual therapist, my role is to help individuals and couples explore these areas with care and curiosity, not shame or judgment.

The struggles people bring into therapy can vary. Some feel numb or disconnected during sex. Others can’t stay present with a partner. Many deal with low desire, anxiety around performance, or a lack of communication. Underneath these challenges, we often find deeper layers: early experiences that shaped their sense of safety, unresolved trauma, or a core belief that they’re unworthy of love or pleasure.

Sometimes these wounds are personal and go back to childhood. Other times, they come from the relationship itself—a breakdown in trust, power struggles, or mismatched needs. One of the most important parts of the work is understanding the difference. Is this an old pattern playing out again? Or is something in the current relationship contributing to the pain?

Healing begins by creating space to explore what’s really going on. And when astrology enters the process, that exploration can deepen in profound ways.

Introducing Sextrology into the Therapy Room

When I meet with someone for the first time, I always begin with my therapist hat on. I listen to their story, get to know their nervous system, their patterns, their history. I build trust. That foundation is essential—especially when we’re talking about something as sensitive as sex and intimacy.

Astrology comes in slowly. I don’t lead with it, because many people aren’t sure what to make of it at first. But there’s always a moment—often after a few sessions—when it feels right to introduce the chart. By that point, they’re open. They’ve felt the safety in space, and there’s a natural curiosity.

When we look at the chart together, it’s like a light comes on. Clients often say things like, “That’s exactly how I feel,” or “I’ve never had anyone describe it that way, but it fits.” They don’t just understand their patterns—they feel seen. It’s incredibly empowering.

The chart gives language to something that felt heavy or unclear. It shows that there’s a rhythm, a pattern, even a purpose behind the struggle. And with that insight, people start to relate to themselves differently. They stop blaming. They soften. They begin to trust their own process.

Reading the Sexual Spark in the Natal Chart

The sexual birth chart reveals how we experience desire, intimacy, and connection. In psychosexual work, I often look to Venus, Mars, Pluto, and the 8th house. These placements show how we love, pursue pleasure, and hold wounds around sexuality.

Venus speaks to what we’re attracted to and how we express love. Mars shows sexual drive and energy. Pluto brings intensity, transformation, and themes of control, trauma, or emotional depth. The 8th house rules sex, merging, power dynamics, and emotional intimacy. Scorpio placements or strong Pluto aspects often point to a need for deep, soul-level connection—or an ongoing struggle with it.

Patterns repeat. People come into therapy describing the same kinds of relationships, the same struggles with desire, intimacy, or connection. These patterns often match what’s written in the chart.

A clear example is Venus in a hard aspect to Pluto, like a semi-square. This can show up as an ongoing pattern of being “the other woman,” drawn to unavailable partners, or entangled in love triangles. One client had this exact signature, and despite entering relationships that seemed stable, another woman always entered the story. Once we looked at her chart together, she saw the connection. It wasn’t random and a personal failure. It was a pattern with a deeper purpose.

Healing and Integration

When it comes to intimacy and sexuality, the healing process often involves layers. We meet our shame. We face our past. We listen to the parts of ourselves that were never allowed to speak. And in that process, something shifts. We start to feel more whole.

For many people, this includes looking back at their sexual history—not to judge or regret, but to learn from it. Every experience, every relationship, even the ones that were painful or confusing, tells us something about who we were and what we were looking for at the time. When we stop shaming ourselves for the past, we can start honoring the wisdom we’ve gained from it.

I often remind clients that our sexuality is directly connected to our spirit. If you’ve been carrying energy from old relationships—consciously or not—it can leave you feeling heavy, unclear, or disconnected. And while time helps, intentional practices like breathwork, visualization, and energy clearing can support you in letting go. Not to erase the memory, but to reclaim your space. To come home to yourself.

Integration means welcoming all parts of your story—light and shadow, joy and pain—and holding them with care. It’s the moment when you realize you don’t have to fix yourself. You just have to meet yourself where you are, honestly and lovingly.

This is the heart of the work. Not perfection. Not performance. Just presence.